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God has been very gracious to me and has blessed me with so many opportunities to share with others. And in leading P&W, I not only get to worship Him in a way that is effective and expressive to me, but I get to light a potential path for my brothers and sisters to do the same.
It’s a sweet deal.
But being a worship leader carries with it a host of assumptions and expectations, many of which, just aren’t my thing. I am who God made me and not someone else. And it’s important for each of us to find his or her own “voice” when it comes to our praise. Even though I may lead in worship, I still have my own, personal praise that I seek too, and finding and knowing my own voice of praise is a crucial element in my spiritual journey.
So how do you find your voice?
Well for me, it’s through a combination of scriptural study, prayerful searching and, to an extent, being around or watching the people whom I respect and admire. As for the latter…
There are and have been remarkable worship leaders. I mean, just dynamic. The first person that comes to my mind, and one of my biggest musical influences, is Lyndell Cooley. When the Brownsville Revival was building into a global phenomenon, Lyndell was at the heart of the music pouring out of that place and his direction literally changed the way most of us looked at “church songs”. He was (and continues to be) a naturally gifted leader, vocalist and songwriter and a generation of P&W leaders owe their positions, in no small part, to Lyndell and his ability to find his own voice.
And then today, we’ve got an amazing group of newer worship leaders in our midst. People like Paul Baloche, The David Crowder Band, Hillsong, Chris Tomlin, Laura Story, Matt Papa, Aaron Shust, Vicky Beeching, Matt Maher…I really could go on and on and on. Not only are these people anointed ministers and incredibly talented musicians and songwriters, but they are animated and charismatic and downright infectious with their passion for worship.
Although I’ve been influenced by so many of these musicians and artists in the church, none of these people are exactly me. But they’ve all had a hand in helping me find who I am. My voice.
Where do I fit into the current landscape as a P&W leader? I’m not sure. I play. I sing. I write some. I’m not shy, but I’m not “bouncy” either, if you know what I mean. I tend to stand fairly still when I sing. I generally close my eyes. And I rarely pay attention to anything going on in the congregation or on the stage area. I’m typically lost in my own world.
I just worship and lose myself and do my thing, and hopefully God has an avenue for that type of worship, with His people.
I’ve said it before, I love the “Spirit-filled” congregation. I love to be in the middle of it and see God’s personality revealed in His children. But I, myself, am not a shouter. Or a runner. I’m not a dancer, a twirler, a stutterer, a stomper, a spinner or a jumper. I don’t leap the pews. I don’t wave my arms. I don’t shake my head or make siren noises. Although those things are all cool, and I love to observe them (if they’re all done orderly and in-sync with God’s design), they just aren’t part of my personal make-up.
There are two ways the Holy Spirit seems to manifest Himself in me. Weeping and hand raising.
Why do I weep? I have no idea. But at times, I’m suddenly overcome with emotion and it just causes me to quietly cry as I sing or pray. Some would say it’s just an emotional response to something. Some might argue that I’m reacting to external stimulae like stress or nervousness or vitamin deficiency. Some doctors might diagnose me as bipolar or manic depressive. But I don’t need therapy or a doctor or a vacation or a pill…I believe it’s part of God’s expression, in and through me. All perfectly normal.
Having said that, my other thing is raising my hands.
Not too intrusive. Not loud. Not attention-getting. But just semi-privately lifting my hand or hands as I praise Him feels good to me.
Why? I mean “Why do I do it?”
I look at it as expanding my surface area.
Since turning about 30, I’ve been expanding my surface area quite regularly (aka the middle aged spread). But what I’m talking about here is an opening up of myself, spiritually and emotionally…and yes, physically too.
If you had two sail boats and one had a small sail and the other had a large sail, which one would catch the most wind? The larger one, of course. The sail with the greater surface area has the best chance of coming in the most contact with the winds and thus, moving the boat.
So I look at raising my hands and arms and opening myself up in that way, as a type of enlarging my spiritual sail. Or moving my Jesus-boat. As I expand my spiritual surface area, the better chance God has of showering Himself on me.
I know, kind of weird. And not exactly theologically sound, but that’s the visual image I hold and that’s the idea that helps me to freely worship God and express myself.
You may try it (or something similar) and find it works for you too. Or you may need to pursue a completely different path. Regardless, pray for God to open a way for you to find your unique self in your praise and for Him to help you express yourself in a way that’s consistent with your own personality.
Today hand-raising. Tomorrow…who knows? I may do the robot at the altar.
OK…not the robot.
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Scripture - Psalm 63:4 - I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.
Take Away – There is no essentially right or wrong way to express yourself when praising God. But relax and know that God created you and made you who you are, even apart from your praise activities (or lack thereof). So rest in Him and trust that He will create in you, an expression of praise that is in harmony with your own personality.
Prayer - Father, You have placed within me, a desire to praise You. So please help me to find my true self, so I can express my love and gratitude and honor for You in the best way possible, whatever that involves. Starting today, I will no longer limit myself to ideas and activities that may cause me to praise You in any way that is not full and truthful and free, and overflowing with all my passion and intensity and desire to please You. In Jesus Name, Amen
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