Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

I don't know about you, but I'm a pretty busy guy. I mean between work, kids, baths, breakfasts, housework, yard work, church, errands, family...shoot, sometimes there just aren't enough hours in the day. You know what I mean.

And in the middle of it all, what's usually the first to get the axe when schedules get tight? For me, prayer and my Bible.

I find myself thinking "In today's world, how can I have a daily Bible study? Ain't nobody got time for that."

Too blunt? Maybe. But when we brush off God in our hurriedness, we're basically saying "God? Ain't nobody got time for You."

Let me challenge you, and myself. Can we find five minutes? I can. Less time on Facebook. Less time watching the news. Less time reading the paper or a magazine or an article on line.

One less YouTube video. One less Tweet. One less text. I can find those few extra minutes in my day that I waste on trivial things, and re-offer them back to God.

Start saying "Five minutes with God...everybody got time for that."

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In the Word: Psalm 5:3 - O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice;
in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch.

Extended Study: Read and meditate on all of Psalm 119.

Prayer: Gracious and patient Lord, I repent of the indifference I've shown You. You are important to me and my days are incomplete unless I spend time with You. Help me as I commit myself to the promise of daily communing with You, in Your Word and in prayer. Amen.

Fifty Shades of Gray: The Sin Rationale

Lately, I keep hearing about this book series Fifty Shades of… whatever. There are three titles in the “Fifty” series.

I know there has been some controversy over the content. I’ve heard that it’s everything from “adult in nature” to outright “softcore porn” (is there really such a thing?). Regardless, I get the idea that it’s quite graphic and quite mature in nature and it’s definitely not appropriate reading for minors, in particular.

Well…for any of us, for that matter.

But despite the hoopla, the books are soaring in popularity. There are a LOT of people buying these books. Like, millions. And that’s a whole different blog entry…:)

In light of all this, it makes me wonder…where is the line? Not just in the material we read, but beyond that. Where is the line for our lives? For our desires? For our intent? Do we exist in our own fifty shades of gray?

Where is the line between a sin and a “not sin”? Or in our culture, today, IS there even a line at all? Or is it more of a zone? Our own “gray zone”. An area that fades evenly and gradually from the total blackness of sin to the complete white of holiness.

And if so, is God OK with that?

Well, let’s just get right to that last one. How does God feel about the “sin rationale”? About “relative sin”…sin that varies in severity depending on the circumstance?

Sorry to be harsh, but the truth is, sin, from God’s POV, is an absolute. It either is or it isn’t. There is no in-between. Something is either a sin or it isn’t.

But sin doesn’t want to be limited by that. Sin wants to have room to breathe and evolve. And we (people in general) are cool with that, because when we sin, we like to have a little room to try to justify it.

No? Look at Adam and Eve.

There they are. Garden of Eden. God says don’t touch this tree. They do it anyway. Bam. Major turning in the story. Now…at this point, we can define Adam and Eve’s actions as “a sin”. Wouldn’t you say? They disobeyed God, right? But what happens next is indicative of our nature as a sinful people. We can sum it up in one word. “But”.

“But God, the woman did it.”

“But God, we were hungry.”

“But God, You made the tree.” (Careful, now.)

“But God. But God. But God…”

The sin rationale is something we struggle with, daily. We live under the curse of wanting to explain our sins. To justify them. We think we have just cause for our actions. Reasons for our behavior. We have our own fifty shades of gray that say “But God, this is why I did it. Doesn’t that matter? Doesn’t that change things?”

So what is God’s perspective on shades of gray and the sin rationale?

Well, throughout the Bible, we see that God (or Jesus) is very clear about His intent and purpose. He is very defined in His vision. You never read about God saying to Moses “I know I told you I’d lead you, but there was this thing, at this place, with a guy…” He never needs to explain why He didn’t do something He previously said He would do. You never read of Him having to justify changing his mind.

For me, the most telling passage of scripture comes in The Revelation (Rev 3:15-16), when Jesus says to the church at Laodicea, “I know your deeds, and you are neither hot nor cold. I wish you were one or the other! But because you are lukewarm, I will spit you out of my mouth.”

Ouch.

God doesn’t deal in lukewarm, does He? Or shades of gray, fifty or otherwise.

So in closing, my question comes, “So now what?”

If the sin rationale is in our nature, and if that’s the nature of Sin, and if Satan realizes this and knows how to use it against us…how can we possibly defeat it? How can we resist the urge to deal in shades of gray? Are we doomed to fail?

Yes. We are. In and of ourselves, at least.

But thank God, in His infinite wisdom, He gave us the Holy Spirit who can work in and through us to break the curse of the sin rationale and move beyond the illusion of sin that is gray. In the infinitely complex world of shades of gray, we spend all of our time looking for the right shade for the right moment for the right reason. Make it easy on yourself…

Life is so much more colorful, in black and white.

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PRAYER: Lord, I realize that I’ve been dealing in shades of gray when it comes to not only my sin, but in my relationship with You. Help me. Take away the gray. Bring me, through the power of Your Holy Spirit, into a life where You are my God, absolutely, no in-between, no rationales, no shades of gray. Amen.

SCRIPTURES: Revelation 3:15-16, Matthew 5:37, James 5:12, James 1:17

Praying, First String

I have to say, I was completely encouraged today when I read through Pastor Pete Wilson’s blogpost, I Stink At Prayer (http://withoutwax.tv/2008/04/07/i-stink-at-prayer/). “Encouraged” because, that’s me, man. I mean, if there’s public praying to be done, I promise you, I am not your guy. Not that I can’t or that I dislike it or get stage fright or something. But there’s something about my public prayers that’s just…well…disjointed, is probably a good word.

There are certain people I’ve encountered throughout my life who are awesome prayers. I mean seriously, they say just the right thing, in just the right way. The content is perfect. The length is perfect. And the language they use is that perfect balance between approachability and poetic. You know what I mean. Our pastor at Corner-Stone Church, Pastor Darrel Rewis, is one of those people. Just a natural gift for it, it seems.

That, however, is not me. I have wished to be a prayer like that, but it just doesn’t fall naturally to me.

One of the great praying pastors who specifically stands out for me is Bro. Curtis Hammond, who (now retired) mentored me many moons ago as a young man of God, and led the Freedom Church of God flock for many, many years. I’ve had other people at Freedom say to me “Now that man can really pray”. And yes he could…Brother Hammond could for sure, flat out pray. When he prayed, I could just imagine God saying to the angels “Now boys, that’s how it’s done.”

So what’s a guy to do? I mean, if you’re going to be a Christian, you kindof have to pray. And if you’re just not that fluid at it in public (like me), well then that might really be a sore spot for you. So I started asking myself some basic questions. Maybe you’re asking yourself some of the same questions: 

·       What is a “good prayer”?

·       What is my goal, when I pray?

·       Can someone learn to pray? Isn’t that fake?

Frankly, I think I could write a book on this. But to scratch the surface, these were the (beginning) answers that made sense to me. See if they speak to you too.

What is a “good prayer”? Well there are lots of possible descriptions, but I think it all comes down to one word. “Love”. When we pray beyond ourselves (not that we can’t pray for our own issues), we tap into one of the real essential driving forces, of Jesus. Selfless compassion for those around us.

What is my goal, when I pray? This ties back to question number 1, but also…when I ask this, I also have to ask “How often do I ask God for something when I pray?” I believe God honors the requests that we bring before Him, but am I also compelled to just ramble on about His goodness, sometimes? We use God as our own little genie in a bottle so often, that we don’t even think about it, until we stop and look. Maybe I need to realign my focus for some of my prayers.

Can someone learn to pray? Isn’t that fake? This is touchy. The answer to the first part is an obvious “yes”. Jesus said in Matthew 6:9-13, “This is how you pray.” So yes, God is cool with us breaking it down into learnable chunks. Jesus actually encourages us to do what He does!

Is that fake? Well, it depends. Kind of back to “What is your goal?” I think we should ask ourselves “Why do I want to be a better public prayer?” Is it to impress the deacons? Is it to practice our public speaking skills? Is it to have a platform to express our thoughts? Is it to reach out to the lost, more effectively? Is it to skillfully praise our Creator?

In a nutshell, I look at it like, I want to learn how to publicly pray in a way that both, honors God AND speaks to the body in a relevant manner. And I think a conscious effort to improve my public delivery is perfectly acceptable, even desirable, to God.

After that, everything else should just take care of itself.

More on this subject to come later…I like this. :) I need a lot of work in this area, and I believe there is much for us to learn. Til then…!

FIC…Ricky

When You Get Chopped

Let me ask you a question: “How will you act when you get chopped?”

“What?” you may be asking yourself.

How will you act…what will you do…who will you honor, when you get chopped, cut, slammed, tackled, hit, slandered, beaten, knocked down, humiliated?

I was talking Sunday with Phoelicia, one of the members of our Church's praise team, about the following story. And the more I think about it, well, the more I think about it. Let me share this with you…

My wife and I absolutely love The Food Network. My personal favorite was the old Japanese Iron Chef! (Classic!) We like Bobby Flay or Guy Fieri and Duff Goldman or Alton Brown. We also like the new Food Network Star winner, Aarti, and Aarti Party. (I just like the way Aarti says it. :))

But we also watch a lot of the show, Chopped, where four chefs compete in these surprise ingredient lightning round type settings, with one chef being “chopped”, or eliminated, with every challenge, until only one remains. Brutal.

Lance Nitahara

The other night, one of the chefs on Chopped was a Christian named Lance Nitahara. A really humble guy who is the head chef for a Christian organization, Camp of the Woods (http://www.camp-of-the-woods.org/) in the Adirondacks of Speculator, NY.

When he introduced himself, I was struck by his openness about his faith (why would that strike me???). And he talked about his love for God and how he prayed for God to grant him things like creativity and strength in the contest, and to help him compete in a way that would honor Him.

Wow.

Now, how many of us would pray that prayer?

Don't answer...

Anyway, to make a long story short, he competed very, very well and advanced to the final one-on-one round before finally being chopped. But the judges raved about both competitors’ dishes, saying that was some of the best food they had ever tasted in any Chopped contest.

And when Lance left the judges, he was smiling and polite and still thanking God for the opportunity to have competed. Even as he left, having been defeated, he didn’t allow the situation to defeat HIM. He didn’t let the pain of losing, overshadow his true purpose…which was to honor God with his actions, words, talents, demeanor, looks, motions, comments.

He maintained the heart and attitude of Christ, even as he was chopped.

It was very inspiring. And personally, I think we should all acknowledge Lance for his skill and talent and for his Christ-like demeanor throughout the entire process. He certainly doesn’t appear to be up for honoring himself, so maybe his Christian brothers and sisters should do it on his behalf.

(As a matter of fact, if you actually want to do that, email your thank-yous and comments to Camp Of the Woods at info@camp-of-the-woods.org.)

So what does all this have to do with me or you or God or being a Christian or anything remotely important?

Well, a lot, actually. Look…

When it comes to how Christians should act, Paul gives us a down-n-dirty schooling in the first two verses of Romans:

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” - Romans 12: 1-2

A “living sacrifice”? “Acceptable to God”? “Transformed by the renewing of your mind”? That’s pretty heavy stuff. Very, very deep. Surely this passage was designed to be inspiring through its poetry than to be taken literally in application. Right?

I don’t think so.

I challenge you to admit, that while these verses tell of a state of being that is probably a world apart from where most of us are (myself included), it’s also one that we can (and should) aspire to. And Lance Nitahara exemplified this passage, perfectly, for me. So it can be done.

Let’s get real…I was honestly watching the show, waiting for the guy to say a foul word. Or do something sneaky against one of the other chefs. Or even glare at someone in anger or jealously. Probably so I could shout “I knew it. I KNEW it!” at the TV.

But, nothing.

I mean nothing. He was true to his profession…that is, his “profession” of faith.

He was presenting his body as a living sacrifice, or to be of good use, to God. He was IN the competition, but did not conform to the typical mannerisms of the normal competitor. And I believe he displayed qualities that proved the will of God.

Can we do the same? Can we hold ourselves to a higher standard? Can we conduct ourselves, even in times of stress and discomfort and duress and public view, in a way that is not only acceptable to God, but that proves His will?

Think about that. Will your actions, regardless of your situation, prove that God’s will is being accomplished in that place or in that time? Proving God’s will…that’s mega-heavy.


Let's face it, there’s more here than I can cover in one blog entry. So let’s stop here and let that sink in. I know I could stand to let this whole idea absorb more, into my own life.

And for more detail on exactly what kinds of behavior God expects from His people, you could go to any one of dozens of biblical passages. But since we’re already in Romans, take a minute and read the entire twelfth and thirteenth chapters. And get your pencil out.

And be prepared to ask yourself “How will I act when I get chopped?”


Prayer: Lord, please help me to be aware of the fact that my life is not my own. But that while I am subject only to your judgment, I am bound by my love for You, to conduct myself in a way that is honorable to You, in all the moments of my life. Please help me to desire to live, constantly, in that way. Please help me to lead others to look to You, as they see the shadow of Christ in my actions and in my heart.

Take Away: Think and pray about the question: “How would I act if no one is watching?” Put yourself in a hypothetical, tempting situation and then imagine that you are truly alone. How do you react? Don’t just cop-out with some religiously correct answer. Be emotionally honest with what you would desire to do and why you would do it or not do it. Give yourself details to make your picture as life-like as possible. Then apply it!

Knowing the Difference Between Yes and No

My youngest son, Jude, is a year old. And he is crawling…crawling like a mad man. And let me tell you, he is fast. Quick. Like a cat. And when he gets a certain toy or book or remote in his sights, he is relentless. When he gets that burning desire for the glass of cherry Kool-aid sitting on the end table, then I become mute and invisible. He just doesn’t seem to know the difference at that point, between yes and no.

He’ll be wide open and I’m yelling “No!”, and I can say “no” a dozen times, but when his mind is fixed on something, he just doesn’t want to hear me anymore.

I believe that’s how it is with us and God, more times that not. He’s saying “no” and we’re determined to do it anyway. Sometimes we need to learn the simple difference between yes and no.

Most of you know that I’m still finding my feet, helping out with Sunday morning worship services at our church, Corner-stone Baptist Church, here in Jefferson (GA). Part of that learning process involves song selection.

If you’ve watched ten minutes of American Idol, then you’ve heard someone talk about the importance of “song choice”. And that is true, both on American Idol and as it relates to worshipping our God and King.

But how do you decide? I mean, I’ve been performing for years…I know how to pick a song or a set of songs. But how much of it should be me and how much of it should be determined by the Holy Spirit?

As I ask that question, I can’t help but remember one of my favorite (and my least often applied) passages of scripture:

“…for He must increase and I must decrease.” – John 3:30

To me, that is one of the most profound pieces of theology in the Bible. It sums up the whole concept of God and Jesus and salvation…the simple but massive idea that between God and me, we take up a finite amount of “space”, for lack of a better description. And the bigger my pride, my ego, my head gets, then the less room that leaves for God.

If God is to increase in grace and mercy and love and wisdom and power and authority (as they all relate to my life), then the only choice is for me to give Him some elbow room. I must make myself smaller. I must decrease. I must fade from view until absolutely nothing is left for the world to see, but Him.

And as one of the people who selects the songs our congregation will worship with on Sundays, I face the awesome responsibility of making that very un-natural decision to withdraw.

It’s human nature to step out. To step up. To raise our hand and say “me!” We like to be noticed. We like to be recognized. We feed off of the compliments of others. We love surveying our handiwork.

It isn’t the nature of a man (or a woman) to defer the credit to anyone else.

But for Christ to be glorified, He must increase and I must decrease.

So what does that say to me about worship song selections?

It says that number one, just because a song is a “hit” or sounds good or makes us want to dance or jump or shout…that doesn’t mean it’s automatically a great worship song.

I’ve said before that as human beings, we’re very emotional. And God of course, knows that. And even though God has a use for our emotions, He tells us to depend on the Holy Spirit to lead us into truth:

“But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth…” (John 16:13)

I wonder if that applies to song choices too? (ahem, the answer is “yes”.)

Number two, it tells me that my criteria for worship song selection is no longer “familiarity, singability and emotionally stirring-ness”. The heart of the worshipper is what plays the key role here, not the song they sing.

Not to say the song is completely unimportant, but as redeemed children of the most high God, we should be able to choose to worship, not have to depend on a particular chord progression or singer’s voice to get us there.

So instead, my criteria are now “scriptural soundness, spiritually uplifting and openly expressing the glorification of God, Jesus and/or His Holy Spirit.”

And lastly, number three, in spite of all the abilities (or lack thereof) God has given me musically, I truly believe that He yearns for me to lean fully and completely on Him and seek His guidance and His revelation and His voice for the selection of music for our worship service.

My gifts, whatever they may be, are only a stale, scientific mixture of DNA and environmental influences, when used alone. But when coupled with the Holy Spirit, they become powerful and useful tools for God.

Does that guidance, revelation and voice come only in the form of goosebumps and dreams? No. It may come in the form of a suggestion from the congregation. Or a conversation with the pastor that “coincidentally” turns to a certain song. Or maybe a passage from a book I read, or a verse of scripture that keeps popping up, or a line I hear in a movie that won’t let me go.

Maybe it’s something my son says to me when we’re doing baths.

Who knows how God may choose to lead me. But it’s my responsibility to seek Him and be prepared to receive His choices when they come, to apply them according to His will and know when He’s gently telling me “no”.

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Prayer: Father, please help me to seek You and to depend on You, completely, in all my decisions, no matter how big or small they may seem. I know that You are the way, the truth and the life…I know that You will never desert me…and I know that I can count on You when my path is unsure to me. Please lead me in the way You would have me go, not only in choosing music for corporate worship, but in every area of my life. Amen.

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Take-away: Ask yourself “What is my favorite worship song?” Then ask why. Is it scripturally sound? Dissect it and see. Is it spiritually uplifting and not simply emotionally charging? And does it unquestionably glorify God, in no uncertain terms, no hazy statements, no “understood” ideas within the lyrics? Is it openly a song of worship? And if your song doesn’t pass these areas, maybe the Holy Spirit is telling you “no”…be faithful and willing to ask Him to lead you in looking for a new song to sing!

When Is Worship Not Really Worship?

I recently joined an online Christian community of worship leaders and musicians called Worship the Rock. Very cool place.

Among other things, WTR also has a forum where questions and issues get posted and discussed. Mostly, I stay out of it. But the other day, I saw the following comment about worship in our congregations:

Have you found that the more we polish the worship team, the worship trend becomes more performance minded rather than worship? I have watched worship leaders parade across the platform interacting with the congregation and members of the team as if it is a performance at a concert or a show. I am finding myself hunting for the true worship in this. What ever happened to the simple, meaningful, heartfelt worship…How do we get back to the true heart of worship?

As you’ve probably guessed, I just had to reply to this one. And my reply seemed like a good piece for today’s devotion.

Here’s what I had to say:

I feel you, Bill. I struggle with the same thing.

As a musician and songwriter, and also as a worship leader in our church, I struggle with the issue of "entertainment", not only in our P&W service, but in Christian music in general.

Is being entertained wrong? Probably not.

Is it a waste of God's time? Again, probably not, but not exactly the most pressing of His desires for us, I would guess.

It's cool to be entertained. And excited. And emotional. And all that. God created us as emotional beings, and our emotions (very much so, through music), help pave the pathway to communion with Him. There's nothing wrong with a good song.

Remember though, we don’t NEED our emotions to commune with God. Just like we don’t NEED a diving board to dive into the pool. The diving board is a vehicle that helps facilitate the process. God doesn’t need us to need a diving board to dive into Him.

We just jump because we choose to.

But it does help us overcome a lot of our human shortcomings, and circumvent a lot of the self-imposed barriers that we have when it comes to entering into His presence…so to speak.

At the end of the day, I think we have to determine where we (and God) draw the line between "ushering in" the presence of God and simply rockin' out.

In my opinion, I'm not a huge fan of the current worship climate. I love the fact that people are openly and excitably worshiping the Lord, I dig the crowds, I’m all about the guitars and drum solos and amazing harmonies.

But when it takes a top ten worship tune to wake the congregation up, while a simple rendition of “I Surrender All”, puts them to sleep...something's wrong.

When we base our ability and willingness to worship and honor our Holy and deserving God and King, upon the popular acceptance and statistical success of a certain song...when we ignore the truth and simplicity of the lyrics and gravitate only to clever twists of a phrase...when we say we can’t “get into” worshipping because a particular song isn’t “working”…something is very wrong.

Since when do we NEED a song to worship God?

Did you NEED to get a present, in order to thank your parents? While most of us would PREFER it that way, that answer is still “no”. Neither do you need a gift or a word or a miracle or a certain style of song, to worship God.

Maybe you’ll say “But some songs are just anointed by God.” And I agree.

But don’t you realize, the anointing isn’t some coat of paint that God applies here and there, that we have no part in at all? The anointing, is upon you. Upon us. Upon God’s people. Through the sacrifice and redemptive power of Christ and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, we don’t need an anointed song in order to worship our Father…any more than we need a certain brand of shoe or shirt before we can get dressed.

I don't want to squash the freedom of P&W in our churches. But we MUST NOT compromise the holiness of God, for the pleasure of the moment. We can (and should) passionately worship God, with or without our Praise Teams.

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Prayer: Father, please help me to remember that my worship is most pleasing to you when it comes from a heart of gratitude and love, not through the artificial stimulation of something outside of You. Outside of me. I will promise You to not let my worship be controlled by my circumstances, my surrounding or my worldly influences. But I will praise You, regardless, no matter what may happen around us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.


Scripture: Psalm 34:1 - I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.


Think About It: The Lord our God not only desires our heartfelt praise, but requires it. Would God require something of you and then not provide a means for that thing to happen? So if our best praises requires the company of a great and anointed song, are we to disobey God when the music stops?

Reality Check: Thoughts on Dying, Living and the stuff in the middle

I discovered today that J. D. Salinger passed away. Very sad. Not that we were buddies or close or even knew one another. But when an artist or author or public figure dies, it’s hard for us not to feel some attachment.

We associate with the works of people. Be it a building (think: Frank Lloyd Wright) or a car (Henry Ford) or a painting (Norman Rockwell) or a song (Michael Jackson). Or in this case, a book. We transfer our own life into that thing, whatever it is, and because we become a part of it, we feel close, even connected in some way, to its creator.

Catcher In the Rye was one of those timeless works (and actually one of my own favorites) that spoke personally to generations of people, young and old. Of course, Lee Harvey Oswald owning a copy and the ensuing assassination of President John F. Kennedy, did no harm to the book’s popularity.

But we identified with Salinger, maybe only in some tiny part. And we wonder what makes his work so influential, so powerful, so compelling. We think on him. We read him. We feel like we must have similarities. And we mourn him now. It’s a poignant loss, even though he was in his nineties.

I remember very well when my mother passed away. Not too very long ago. Funny how certain memories can be crystal clear, but at the same time, almost foggy. We were “expecting” her passing at some point, but nothing really prepares you fully for that.

I remember standing alone in the funeral parlor, looking at my mother lying there in her casket, and thinking about all the things I didn’t say. All the presents I forgot to give. All the visits I put off til later. All the conversations I should’ve lingered in. All the hugs I thought were trivial.

There’s nothing like death to make you think about life. There’s nothing like the sudden void that death leaves, to remind the living of how trivial this life can be at times.

But in her death, I also found a new focus. A new outlook. A different point of view and a fresh beginning. In some way, her death was part of God’s gift of continuing life. Even though we mourn the loss of someone, in their passing, God reminds us of our own mortality.

He shows us our past and reminds us of our once-optimistic gaze into our future. We feel a new start. A new foothold on things. And we tuck our old thoughts and memories and associations away into our pockets, dry our eyes and take a deep breath, and look out to the horizon, thinking about how much better things are going to be.

Today’s Scripture: Psalm 27:4 - One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

Today’s Prayer: Father, as I go through this day and as I think on the subjects of death and loss, please help me to remember the greatest gift I have is the life that You’ve given me. And please help me to seek You and Your beauty, everyday.

Last Thoughts:

When someone dies, we don’t have to die (emotionally or spiritually) with them. Remember that life is beautiful and we’re blessed to live it.

When Christ died, his followers were in shambles. But through His death, they soon found encouragement and strength to do amazing things. Look ahead!

When celebrities die, we mourn them as if they were close friends. THINK ABOUT IT: Who (celebrity or public figure) do you identify with most closely? Why? And could you seek out better influences?